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You Tell 'Em, Shep! 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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So what if "Mr. Steelhead" is living the life that most of us only dream of, residing in a REAL steelhead nirvana, and so what if the poor schnook is landing steelhead measured in kilos instead of inches!
What does he know about REALLY having a good time or being a success?
You're full of crap, FH! 
Take me fishing, please?  |
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A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
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fishhawk (User)
Expert Poster
Posts: 177
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Re:You Tell 'Em, Shep! 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Barucie
The only thing I measure in Kilos instead of inches is my johnson.  |
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Re:You Tell 'Em, Shep! 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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So, does this mean EVERYTHING you've ever told me is a lie? I think you're getting kilos mixed up with grams.
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A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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SCM wrote:
Perhaps the Shepherd should adjust his "gains" to factor for short term capital gains taxes and brokerage fees before he claims victory. It is amazing how quickly a 4.9% gain becomes about as rewarding as the yield on a 10-year treasury.[/quote]
The Shepherd does not factor Capital Gains into the equation until the end of the year! At the current rate, the Shepherd is running at about a 1100% annualized rate of return (pre-tax of course!). Will the Shepherd be able to maintain running at this pace? Or will the Shepherd begin to catch the timing he had last year and run at close to the 2300% rate that he realized for the last half of 2008? Or will the Shepherd begin to tank down hard and only finish up this year at a measly 200-300%?  Even the Shepherd's crystal ball isn't that good!
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Also, the real fact is, the Shepherd is having a difficult time of it this year, and is finding the 'Sophmore Jinx' to be in full effect in the second year of the Shepherd's soon to be legendary trading career! Even though the Shepherd's unbroken 30+ week streak of ALWAYS winning, never losing, is still intact, it hasn't been without incident this year. This year the Shepherd has actually made the rookie mistake of "panic selling" a 30% position in FAZ at a 14.00 a share loss which was a big hit ( the Shepherd still 'WON' for the week because of a sell-off of a 70% position in SRS at a 13.00 a share gain!), and has not once sold any of the profitable trades that have been executed this year at or near the max profit that could have been realized. The Shepherd sold FAS on Monday on the way down and missed the peak, and had the Shepherd held his sales of SWHC and SRS from last week, he would have banked HUGE bottlerocket gains on both by selling this week. Despite the fact that this year has been full of woulda, coulda, shoulda's for the Shepherd, the Shepherd still finds himself in the postion of still running at over a 1000% clip for the year! Even when the Shepherd, by his own account is having a bad year, the Shepherd ultimately, in the end, ALWAYS wins!
The Shepherd might just stay out of trading for the rest of the week. The Shepherd does not like the fact that the VIX has fallen off the table, and is probably not even gonna try to put money on the table tommorrow on where this one is heading after today's bogus major rally by the finacials after the Fed's moves today. Friday being options expiration further clouds the issue. The potential calls could make Friday a huge down day.
That said, the Shepherd very much likes the fact that his favorite vampiric ETF's took a pounding the last two days and are sporting some very attractive entry prices!
The Shepherd
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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Phil (Admin)
Admin
Posts: 1029
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Oh Shepperd, help me understand how the whims of the stock market translate into solid gains in the catchability index while fishing a baetis hatch? I truly want to understand the intricacies of the relationships of the AIG bonus payments to the Salmonfly hatch on the Deschutes, and I need to fully understand how the shift to the non-Bush era will impact PMD's on the Fall River, and most importantly, will Obamanomics impact the Damsel hatch on Davis Lake? These are questions that I must know before I invest another clamshell into GE Bonds. Like you, I am riding a wave of success that has resulted in buying short oil from my Blackberry, while reeling in large browns during the fall run on the Conservancy stretch of the McCloud. But it is the uncertainty of the current economy going to impact the size of Lahontans in Pyramid?
I look forward to your reply. The future of the world fishing economy lies on your response.
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I am haunted by waters.
Norman MacLean
A River Runs Through It
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Phillyboy,
The Shepherd hates to be the one to break the bad news to ya, but there's no market for aquatic inverts. After fully digesting the FED's desperation move today, The Shepherd now sees a potential huge and unexpected change that will start next week and last potentially into April. The Shepherd, naturally will profit huge from this. You naturally, will likely not only miss the boat but will get brutally keelhauled by a market that quite clearly is beyond your ability to grasp! 
The Shepherd is recommending that you stay away from trading and continuing your "success" in creating "innovative" new fly patterns that look curiously like renamed proven Umpqua patterns tied on heavywire hooks!
The Shepherd |
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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Phil (Admin)
Admin
Posts: 1029
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Shepperd,
You mean this pattern????? http://www...es-Steelhead-Poopah.html
Note, due credit was given to the originator of this pattern, Mr. Fox. My adaptation is simply that, for steelhead. Unfortunately, there are no orginal patterns anymore. At one point there was only one pattern, the Royal Coachman, and then that was adapted to the Royal Wulff, and the nymphal form of the Royal evolved to the Prince Nymph, then along came the Spinner in the Renegade, and from there it has been a free for all. Every orignal fly has been tied, and now all remaining are adaptations. So every fly tier is copying someone else, and no-one originates anymore, except for Bob Quigly! An of course my BA Caddis Pattern, which I'm sure no-one has tied before me(use your imagination!). It is tied bullet head style, with a rather obvious form of the human anatomy protruding from the backside of this fly. The Body and "Tail" is tied using Cotton as the underbody, and ladies Nylon stockings as the Overbody, which creates a very noteable feature at the rear....I mean Tail of this pattern. I have yet to interest Umpqua in carrying this pattern, most probably because of the complexities of getting it tied correctly.
Now, back to the orignal question in my post: If I short ExxonMobil, and go long on GE, will I ever hook and land a trophy trout over 30" on a renegade fished during a caddis hatch in heavy water on 7X tippet?
These are questions which must be answered Oh Shepperd! |
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I am haunted by waters.
Norman MacLean
A River Runs Through It
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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No, you'll only catch a large sucker  |
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A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
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The administrator has disabled public write access.
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Phil wrote:
[quote]
Now, back to the orignal question in my post: If I short ExxonMobil, and go long on GE, will I ever hook and land a trophy trout over 30" on a renegade fished during a caddis hatch in heavy water on 7X tippet?
quote]
No, yes and yes!
Short Chevron instead. Chevron sucks donkey testicles!
Sell the house, sell the car, have the wife put on a mini-skirt and walk the street corner and sell the kids into slavery! Use all these new found proceeds to buy up as much common GE stock as you can afford.
This will make you an infinitely better angler! You'll be banging out 100+ feet without adding a haul, roll casting to 90' and stackmending to 85' effortlessly. You'll be catching 35"er's on a cigarette butt glued to a hook in no time! You'll be a legend in your own mind!
The Shepherd
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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Re:Humbled By Steel 15 Years, 8 Months ago
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Baaaaarucie,
The Shepherd just closed out this week's trading in grand style, as you may well have guessed! Here's a synopsis of the Shepherd's week:
1- The Shepherd bought and sold a 30% position in FAS for a 5% gain!
2- The Sherpherd spent 50% of his cash today on his favorite "Death to Commerical Real Estate! Death to Commerical Real Estate!" (notice that that one is leveraged x2!) ETF at an excellent buy in price of 66.26 per share. It closed the day UP at 70.94 a share. A nice 7.1% gainer for the Shepherd! The Shepherd will be holding this one over the weekend!
3- The Shepherd ALWAYS wins!
You're probably wondering WHY the Shepherd would buy into one of those leveraged bastards on "quad witching" day and is holding over the weekend??? Because the Shepherd has 'nads of steel, bigger than baseballs, that swing low, and runs FLAWLESS trend analysis!
The Shepherd
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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