The Northern California Fly Fishing Board

Bill Kiene

Sacramento,CA,USA,Earth

"Outside a dog a book is man's best friend...and inside a dog, it is too dark to read!" G. Marx

****** News Flash*****

The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!

"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd

"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist

"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend

"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen

"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant

"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling


"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton

The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com

"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!

"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication

"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd

"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd

"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™

"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd

"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd

"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople

"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore

"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh

"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla

"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio

"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin

"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock

"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller

****** News Flash*****

The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!

"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd

"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist

"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend

"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen

"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant

"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling


"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton

The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com

"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!

"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication

"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd

"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd

"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™

"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd

"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd

"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople

"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore

"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh

"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla

"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio

"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin

"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock

"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller

A few things you need to know about me:

I has been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into the room. My organ donation card, also lists my beard. I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas. When it is raining, it is because I'm sad. Even my parents’ advice is insightful. If there were an interesting gland, mine would be larger than most men’s entire lower intestines. My shirts never wrinkle. I am left-handed. And right-handed. Even if I forget to put postage on my mail, it gets there. I once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn’t admit it. You can see my charisma from space. The police often question me, just because they find me interesting. I once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me. When I order a salad, I get the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs…where there is no turning back. If a monument was built in my honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance. My beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body. My blood smells like cologne. On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after me. I don't believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders. My cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for me. My pillow talk is years ahead of it’s time. Respected archaeologists fight over my discarded apple cores. I have always been known to rock the casba. Birds have never defecated on my car. I never rock climb with ropes, I feel they are for pussies. I once buried a time capsule full of things that haven’t happened yet. I have been pronounced dead 7 times…make that 8. My bear hugs are actually hugs I give to bears. I can’t be bought, but my beard clippings have been know to show up on ebay. I have never lost a sock. If I disagree with you, it is because you are wrong. My reputation expands faster than the universe. I once had an awkward moment, just to see what it felt like. I live vicariously through myself. Happy Hour is the hour after everyone from happy hour has left. I sleep with a night light, not because I'm afraid of the dark but the dark is afraid of me. I hold a doctorate in originality in which I teach at Harvard where no one ever passes. When I go skydiving Peregrine Falcons always trail behind me. The President of a country once took a bullet for me on a failed attempt. When I look in the mirror there's never a reflection because I am only 1 of a kind. I can defeat anyone in a game of chess without making any moves. It is rumored that James Bond movies are my real life biography. I once gave an autograph in sign language. I didn’t just taste fear… I ordered seconds of it. Restaurants offer me my usual table, even if I've never been there. Stray dogs obey my commands. The Spanish Civil War was started by two women fighting over me. Waiters Tip me. After hearing me play guitar, Hendrix decided life was not worth living. In Pamplona, the bulls run with me. I traveled to the edge of the world…and proved the world was flat. I once fought myself…and won. I took the McChicken off the dollar menu. It has been said that I beat 2 pac and biggie in a rap battle…thats why they killed each other. My tan never goes away. I painted my house with my beard. After seeing me dance…Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest. I blow a .000…after putting down a case. I went skinny dipping…with my clothes on. Hookers ask me how much? I am so elusive, I can escape anything, even black holes. When a camera points at me, it never goes out of focus. I can strangle you with a cordless phone. I went to Mars, and that is why there is no life there. When I do a pushup, I'm not lifting myself up, I'm pushing the Earth down. I don't read books, I stare them down until they give me the information I need. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures I allow to live. It takes me 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. I am The Most Interesting Man In The World.

"Outside a dog a book is man's best friend...and inside a dog, it is too dark to read!" G. Marx

"Fly fishing is extrememly cool"

"Rivers course through my dreams, rivers cold and fast, rivers well-known and rivers nameless, rivers that seem like ribbons of blue water twisting through wide valleys, narrow rivers folded in layers of darkening shadow, rivers that have eroded down deep in a mountain's belly, sculpted the land, peeled back the planet's history exposing the texture of time itself."
— Harry Middleton (Rivers of Memory)

"Each night as I haul myself onto the back of county garbage truck no. 2, there is a familiar wind, some thread of moonglow or starlight, a splatter of dark rain on my skin, something that stirs my memory, and again, if even for a brief moment, I am on some mountain river, some stretch of bright water, full of possibilities, including the possibility of trout, perhaps one that, when hooked, will haul me in and out of time, in and out of life's mysterious and frightening, wondrous and incomprehensible continuum, even to the edges of the universe." -- Harry Middleton